The Only Constant in Life is Change
“You’re not the same person I fell in love with.” There is never a truer statement. February 14th, Valentines Day, is a day dedicated to lovers celebrating the miracle of finding that one person in the world. Today is the day to discover who you fell in love with again, for the first time.
Restaurants will be filled with lovers connecting or trying to rekindle an old flame. Millions of dollars will be spent on greeting cards that eloquently express our love, red roses and carnations and those mystery chocolates in heart shaped boxes.
However, many couples will be obligatorily celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone who is not the same person they fell in love with. The cliche is, “we fell out of love”. What does that mean? When did the fall start? Why? Do you even know the person sitting across the table from you? According to Heraclitus, the answer would be no, “No man ever steps in the same river twice.”
Are you the same person that you were on your wedding day, the same person you were before a family member passed away, the same person you were before you lost your job or got a new one, the same person before children? No! “The Only Constant in Life is Change.” Have you not changed over the years of your relationship to become the wonderful person you are today?
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
So if change is constant, than we can all agree that the person we fell in love with is not the same person we are or are not in love with today. This has me believe that there is an opportunity this Valentine’s; to use the other cliche, “to fall in love”.
Is your relationship suffering from love amnesia? Remember, falling in love, up all night talking, discovering that other person, listening to the stories of their life that made them who they were to that point, you just couldn’t get enough. Fast forward a few years or decades and has the discovery process been removed from our love? Has the subtlety of change escaped our notice. Is it possible that you could fall more in love with your Valentine by simply discovering the new person they are today?
So as you’re thinking about what to get your loved one this Valentine’s, a card, a box of chocolates or flowers… consider giving them a vulnerable piece of yourself. Give them a question and intently listen to the answer in order to discover the potential lover, the spouse of 20 years and start the process of falling in love again, for the first time.